Blog Archives
Relating well with a person
Posted by Elsol
Naran
Why do you like somebody? It is because he or she gives you happiness.
- I release my desire to seek happiness through him.
What is actually happening inside me?
The person might change. You could not like him then. If you do not get happiness because of the change in him then you do not want him to change.
- Here, desire to control is operating. Release that.
I notice, now I have a desire to seek happiness through that person. Thus, everything is conditional, which is our (human) nature.
Ask the question, ‘What is the pleasure or pain that I operate from?’
Desire to control or change is always with us.
As long desire to control is operating, harmony cannot be established as it is compromised. Therefore, change your desire to control.
- I release my desire to change him.
- I release my anger about him.
Even if he says good things, you reject it for you do not want his approval (as you dislike him).
Posted in Happiness, Harmony, Relationship
Tags: A, about, anger, approval, ask, because, change, compromised, conditional, control, desire, dislike, established, gives, Good, happening, happiness, Harmony, human, inside, like, Naran S Balakumar, nature, operating, pain, person, pleasure, question, reject, Relating, Release, seek, to, want, well, with
How to maintain your level of intimacy
Posted by Elsol
When can you get what you want in a relationship?
All of us enter in to any relationship to expecting something in the lines of – “I want someone so that I feel good; I want to be loved and taken care of”.
In any relationship when you expect, you will be disappointed.
When one is ready to give without expectation, he can get. There will not be any dejection.
How a destructive relationship starts getting building up?
When I do not want any destructive relationship or when I want harmony and peace in a relationship, then I should stop resisting it first.
Instead, when the spouse says or does anything you disagree or you don’t like, you start resisting inwardly.
Then like starts yielding to dislike.
However, this is not expressed but suppressed. This continues until it becomes resentment.
How you destroy the foundation of love?
You become angry.
Anger separates you from the other person and a barrier is formed.
Intimacy is ended, and leads to rejection.
You find ways to blame or criticize the partner wanting to prove that he/she is wrong.
Verbally you attack.
Everything the other person does seem to be wrong and the physical separation begins.
Without knowing, that your own blaming causes rejection – you feel rejected.
Your relationship deteriorates further by either suspicion or withdrawal.
Resolving these destructive tendencies
If relationship is to be mended then take the following remedies:
- AGRIMONY for open communication
- BEECH to understand other’s point of view; to have tolerance
- WILLOW to stop blaming and to forgive
- WALNUT to adjust and to be compromising
- CHERRY PLUM not to burst out
- HOLLY for suspicion and back biting
- CHICORY to give and not to force one
Each day is a new day. Start as if it is a new relationship.
Posted in Relationship
Tags: . Start, A, adjust, AGRIMONY, anger, angry, attack, “Together Relationship”, Bach Flower, back-biting, barrier, be, become, BEECH, begins, blame, blaming, building, burst, can, care, causes, CHERRY PLUM, CHICORY, communication, compromising, criticize, day, dejection, destroy, destructive, deteriorates, disagree, disappointed, dislike, Each, ended, enter, expecting, expressed, feel, find, force, forgive, formed, foundation, get, give, Good, Harmony, Have, HOLLY, how, in, Intimacy, into, inwardly, leads, Level, like, loved, maintain, mended, Naran S Balakumar, new, of, open, others, out, partner, peace, physical, point, prove, ready, rejected, rejection, Relationship, remedies, resentment, resisting, Resolving, says, separates, separation, spouse, stop, suppressed, suspicion, take, taken, tendencies, to, tolerance, understand, up, Verbally, view, WALNUT, want, ways, what, When, WILLOW, withdrawal, without, wrong, yielding, you, Your
Together Relationship 