It’s a very wonderful article – “Relationship with Your Parents = Relationship with Others”: http://wp.me/ptUDl-6A.
How can we have good relationships with in-laws? Why always there is some insecurity, disharmony in this relationship?
Parents of a girl and parents of a boy, both should be treated equally. After all both are parents. If one be grateful for his/her parents, does the relationship with in-laws will also improve?
Why after marriage of a son, parents get usually upset? They start seeing faults, blaming son and daughter-in-law even for small things. How one can be perfect this much? Even son and daughter-in-law may have same feeling for them!
How both can have normal relationship (unconditional) with each other?
In any healing, one should think about oneself only.
One should give love irrespective of whether he is receiving love or being blamed or criticized.
Expecting others to behave as per our wish will not work because each one is different – each one’s background, learning, upbringing, views and opinions are totally different. Only opposites are attracted to be in one place, so that we learn the art of living in co-existence within a family.
How to change oneself by asking some relevant questions?
Where am I now? There is disharmony in the family.
What do I want? I want harmony in the family.
How do I maintain this problem? Or how do I contribute – my thoughts, my opinions, and my behavior, to this disharmony?
Or what is in me that maintains this disharmony?
How can I get harmony?
How will I change to get harmony?
Why can’t I solve it?
How could I make this harmony possible?
What is required to have harmony?
You said that one should give love irrespective of whether he is receiving or being blamed or criticized. That is fine!
Sending love means what? Is it always thinking well about in-laws, parents, loved ones or is it seeing good in them or is it always to say “yes” to them, whatever they expect from me?
Are we allowed to express ourselves in harmless way, when I don’t like something or don’t want do certain things or wanted to do in another way? Or sending love means being kind with them?
Pls help me to understand sending love means what?
Ask these questions to yourself and you will get the answer.
I had a misunderstanding with someone I love very much, and due to my arrogance this person didn’t come to meet me. We normally meet every day. How can I save my relationship with this person and strengthen it.
Help others without arrogance. Do the forgiving exercise
As per your instruction, I did the forgiving exercise 7 X 108 times. I also personally asked for the forgiveness and now I am forgiven.
From the ‘I Love Myself” Workbook
How to manifest divine love in all your relationships?
- Forgive, thank and love all your relationships.
- You may be in conflict with your relative today but may not have an aversion about them tomorrow.
- Do not carry the conflict for tomorrow. The reason for today’s conflict should not be present for tomorrow’s conflict. Tomorrow when you have a conflict again, do not use all the words which you used today, and do not bring this scene then.
- After every fight and quarrel, just thank all the quarrels. When you thank them you will find a world of difference, the very next day.
- Also thank the person who fought with you.
- After the conflict is over, use appreciative words for that person (mentally) and then forgive them.
I am making much progress on receiving love by doing EFT for all the contributing factors to my resistance to receiving love and releasing my desire for love. Persistence was the key.
Now, I’m noticing all the ways in which people need love and care. I think I was blind to it before.
The problem now is either I do not know how to provide love or I find that I am very reluctant to give it.
For example, telling my friend something nice about them. I really don’t feel like it is necessary but I see people need affirmation.
Please help me become better at giving love in a way my close friends and relatives can receive. I am also VERY reluctant to say “I love you.”
I too am facing same thing, with some experiences in life.
I feel reluctant to say I LOVE YOU and feel something odd or negative in showing love. I was exactly opposite.
Everybody wants love and affection.
We express that through our expression and behavior only.
Every action of ours is aimed at that only.
Love is spontaneous when it is divine.
When you say that people expect a word of appreciation, give it.
If you view, it is not necessary, then don’t think about it.
But if you are concerned about it, then you also want approval from others.
When can you get what you want in a relationship?
All of us enter in to any relationship to expecting something in the lines of – “I want someone so that I feel good; I want to be loved and taken care of”.
In any relationship when you expect, you will be disappointed.
When one is ready to give without expectation, he can get. There will not be any dejection.
How a destructive relationship starts getting building up?
When I do not want any destructive relationship or when I want harmony and peace in a relationship, then I should stop resisting it first.
Instead, when the spouse says or does anything you disagree or you don’t like, you start resisting inwardly.
Then like starts yielding to dislike.
However, this is not expressed but suppressed. This continues until it becomes resentment.
How you destroy the foundation of love?
You become angry.
Anger separates you from the other person and a barrier is formed.
Intimacy is ended, and leads to rejection.
You find ways to blame or criticize the partner wanting to prove that he/she is wrong.
Verbally you attack.
Everything the other person does seem to be wrong and the physical separation begins.
Without knowing, that your own blaming causes rejection – you feel rejected.
Your relationship deteriorates further by either suspicion or withdrawal.
Resolving these destructive tendencies
If relationship is to be mended then take the following remedies:
- AGRIMONY for open communication
- BEECH to understand other’s point of view; to have tolerance
- WILLOW to stop blaming and to forgive
- WALNUT to adjust and to be compromising
- CHERRY PLUM not to burst out
- HOLLY for suspicion and back biting
- CHICORY to give and not to force one
Each day is a new day. Start as if it is a new relationship.
Please explain how to do rule exercise
Let us say you want to achieve harmony in your life.
The first step is to release all the hurdles that are inside you, which prevent s you from creating harmony.
Affirm the following statements as many times as possible, which helps you to remove disharmony from your life. Without removing it, you cannot create harmony in your relationships:
I release any memory that prevents my harmony
I release every thought that prevents my harmony
I release my memory of blaming that prevents my harmony
I release the memory, which prevents my getting of love and affection
I release the thought that I lack love and affection
I release my memories of reject and disapproval
I release all my desires for approval
I release my memory of my anger to be in a state of love
I release my thought of blaming to be in a state of love and peace
I release the memory that I am misunderstood
I release the thought that I am misunderstood
I release the memory of my being criticized
I release the thought that I am criticized
I release the memory of attracting unkind, unloving people
I release the thought I am with unloving people
I release the memory that keeps me (in) hostility
I release every memory that prevents my state of love
I release the thought that prevents my state of love
After successfully completing the first step, do the second step which will help you to create harmony: https://togetherrelationship.wordpress.com/2013/04/24/harmony-and-love-waiting-your-door-step/
Why do things such as these happen?
Is it an exercise expelling some internal discord?
We always want harmony, love and peace.
But we don’t know how to get when we are denied or when are rejected.
Life simply follows physical law.
If you throw a ball on the wall, it rebounds and comes back to you with the same force.
Our thoughts and emotions are like balls thrown at the opposite person.
When we refuse to forgive, we will not be forgiven.
Send a forgiving note you will get back the same.
Send ball of love, which will be returned to you as the ball of love.
Do and do, till we get the same love back.