This constant depression is taking a toll on me :(. So, when I get even a straw of positivity from you it makes me feel better.
No amount of telling my mind anything helps. It continues to feel sad about everything that is going wrong, in parallel.
No house, no promotion, no love. And finally all the hard work only gets bad feedback.
Behind sadness, there is expectation to be loved; behind this expectation, fear of rejection, fear of abandonment or fear of intimacy is there.
The fear and expectation or desiring operate in opposite directions, and produce the sadness feeling.
This fear denies everything you desire.
Chant this and write this:
- “I release that part, which wants to be loved”
- “I release that part, which activates fear of rejection”
- “I align with that part, which gives love unconditionally.”
- “I align with that part, which feels secured
When can you get what you want in a relationship?
All of us enter in to any relationship to expecting something in the lines of – “I want someone so that I feel good; I want to be loved and taken care of”.
In any relationship when you expect, you will be disappointed.
When one is ready to give without expectation, he can get. There will not be any dejection.
How a destructive relationship starts getting building up?
When I do not want any destructive relationship or when I want harmony and peace in a relationship, then I should stop resisting it first.
Instead, when the spouse says or does anything you disagree or you don’t like, you start resisting inwardly.
Then like starts yielding to dislike.
However, this is not expressed but suppressed. This continues until it becomes resentment.
How you destroy the foundation of love?
You become angry.
Anger separates you from the other person and a barrier is formed.
Intimacy is ended, and leads to rejection.
You find ways to blame or criticize the partner wanting to prove that he/she is wrong.
Verbally you attack.
Everything the other person does seem to be wrong and the physical separation begins.
Without knowing, that your own blaming causes rejection – you feel rejected.
Your relationship deteriorates further by either suspicion or withdrawal.
Resolving these destructive tendencies
If relationship is to be mended then take the following remedies:
- AGRIMONY for open communication
- BEECH to understand other’s point of view; to have tolerance
- WILLOW to stop blaming and to forgive
- WALNUT to adjust and to be compromising
- CHERRY PLUM not to burst out
- HOLLY for suspicion and back biting
- CHICORY to give and not to force one
Each day is a new day. Start as if it is a new relationship.