I am making much progress on receiving love by doing EFT for all the contributing factors to my resistance to receiving love and releasing my desire for love. Persistence was the key.
Now, I’m noticing all the ways in which people need love and care. I think I was blind to it before.
The problem now is either I do not know how to provide love or I find that I am very reluctant to give it.
For example, telling my friend something nice about them. I really don’t feel like it is necessary but I see people need affirmation.
Please help me become better at giving love in a way my close friends and relatives can receive. I am also VERY reluctant to say “I love you.”
I too am facing same thing, with some experiences in life.
I feel reluctant to say I LOVE YOU and feel something odd or negative in showing love. I was exactly opposite.
Everybody wants love and affection.
We express that through our expression and behavior only.
Every action of ours is aimed at that only.
Love is spontaneous when it is divine.
When you say that people expect a word of appreciation, give it.
If you view, it is not necessary, then don’t think about it.
But if you are concerned about it, then you also want approval from others.
When can you get what you want in a relationship?
All of us enter in to any relationship to expecting something in the lines of – “I want someone so that I feel good; I want to be loved and taken care of”.
In any relationship when you expect, you will be disappointed.
When one is ready to give without expectation, he can get. There will not be any dejection.
How a destructive relationship starts getting building up?
When I do not want any destructive relationship or when I want harmony and peace in a relationship, then I should stop resisting it first.
Instead, when the spouse says or does anything you disagree or you don’t like, you start resisting inwardly.
Then like starts yielding to dislike.
However, this is not expressed but suppressed. This continues until it becomes resentment.
How you destroy the foundation of love?
You become angry.
Anger separates you from the other person and a barrier is formed.
Intimacy is ended, and leads to rejection.
You find ways to blame or criticize the partner wanting to prove that he/she is wrong.
Verbally you attack.
Everything the other person does seem to be wrong and the physical separation begins.
Without knowing, that your own blaming causes rejection – you feel rejected.
Your relationship deteriorates further by either suspicion or withdrawal.
Resolving these destructive tendencies
If relationship is to be mended then take the following remedies:
- AGRIMONY for open communication
- BEECH to understand other’s point of view; to have tolerance
- WILLOW to stop blaming and to forgive
- WALNUT to adjust and to be compromising
- CHERRY PLUM not to burst out
- HOLLY for suspicion and back biting
- CHICORY to give and not to force one
Each day is a new day. Start as if it is a new relationship.